Why You Won’t Find a Good Sales(wo)man / Lover / Mechanic
#SameForest #DifferentMonkeys #EverySinner has a future. #EverySaint a past — The Strathmore Revival Story
Whether you’re hiring a salesperson, falling in love, or finding a mechanic, the same rule applies: if you keep picking the wrong one, it’s not them — it’s you.
When You Recruit Hope at 1:43 AM
Your Application Tracking Software (ATS) has spat out 87 CVs. It’s 1:43 AM.
Your board wants a 15% sales lift.
Your spouse wants to go out — it’s school holidays, kwani?
And your last three hires ghosted after lunch.
You’re not just hiring a salesperson.
You’re looking for a saviour in shiny shoes.
And you still won’t find one.
The Problem Isn’t Them. It’s Us.
We say we want rainmakers. But we punish the ones who show up with thunder.
You want a closer — but hate their confidence.
You want someone hungry — but only if they say “yes boss” before they eat.
You want passion — but not the kind that questions broken systems or late commissions.
That’s why the good ones leave.
Same as the ex who loved you too loudly. (You said she was a psycho.)
Or the boyfriend who pushed you to dream bigger. (Delusional, or psycho too?)
Or the girlfriend who drank the shots but kept the receipts — and reminded you of your potential.
They weren’t too much.
You just weren’t ready.
The Real Cost of the Cheap Hire
Let’s drop the slogans.
That “affordable” salesperson you hired last quarter?
The one who looked good on paper but stalled in every pitch?
Here’s what it really cost:
KES 50K/month in salary × 6 months = KES 300,000
KES 100,000 in recruitment, onboarding, and handholding
KES 300,000+ in lost deals they couldn’t close
KES 200,000 in damaged morale, confused teams, and firefighting
Add exit costs, admin overhead, and recovery time…
💣 Total: Close to KES 1 million — per failed hire.
And yet, the board still asks:
“Why aren’t we hitting sales targets?”
You didn’t hire a closer.
You hired a CV. A name from a pile. A Hail Mary at 1:43 AM.
Worse — you did it twice. Because you thought they’d be “easy to manage.”
🧮 Want to see what your last bad hire really cost you?
Use our Cost-of-Damage Calculator.
Plug in your numbers. No sugar-coating — just the truth. (Full results unlock by email.)
Purity’s Story – The Stone That the Builder Refused
Purity grew up in Embu, schooled there, worked part-time in the village “hotel” — only because she could tally balances on her boss’s Pochi la Biashara.
Recruited by a former untrained teacher-turned-insurance man with a second-hand Probox and a grade cow, she promised herself:
“I’ll buy mum a grade cow too.”
She killed it in Kerugoya — 60+ policies in a year (industry average: two).
Boss said: “You’re too big for Kagio. Time for Kanairo.”
The new boss asked: “What’s your natural market?”
Her phonebook? Besties from Embu, a few polytechnic boyfriends, her BSF group from Githurai church, and her old clients scattered all over murima.
She lived in a one-bedroom — a “studio” in Nairobi English. More like a store, with just enough space to keep a meko far from the only duvet she owned (double-sided, bought at the Githurai stage: turn inside out, new design).
In Nairobi, the big-corporate chase nearly broke her — endless meetings, “MANCO & EXCO approvals,” no sales.
She pivoted to welfare groups, saccos, and chamas of mitumba vendors.
She vibed with them. Mixed Embu, broken Swahili, and Riggy G’s “English of the nose.”
She struck gold — but daily payments were banned.
While “management” sat on the decision in South Africa, Purity went rogue.
Her clients paid via chama accounts. She discovered money market funds, T-bills, and infrastructure bonds. She owned five pairs of heels but still carried ngomas in her bag.
New Agent of the Year.
Luck? Fate? Grit? All three.
But when she applied for Portfolio Manager, the ATS spat out: NOT A FIT.
By January, she’d joined a competitor.
By March, the graduate who got the role was on PIP.
By June, the board had moved on.
Somewhere in Westlands, another sales manager is still wondering why the pipeline is dry.
The Lovers, the Closers, and the Ones Who Leave
In sales and in love, we push away the ones who challenge us.
Label them “too much” — then spend years chasing their shadows.
Younger readers know ghosting.
Middle-aged ones know the silence of a love that got tired of waiting.
Older ones remember the one they didn’t fight for — until it was too late.
Same in love. Same in business.
Strathmore Leos: A Masterclass in Structure & Heart
Last week, the Strathmore Leos didn’t just win the 2025 Prinsloo 7s — they schooled KCB 24–7 in a rain-soaked final.
Yes, their athleticism was top-tier. Yes, their basics were flawless. But the real magic? Structure + heart (“Roho juu with brains”).
At the centre was The Fox and his sidekick Pointy.
Once written off by several top-flight clubs, they walked into Strathmore with no big-name stars, no boardroom clout — just belief, basics, and brutal honesty. (This has Mitch Ocholla’s fingerprints all over it… well in Mojo).
And in a university known for post-grad MBAs, they delivered a masterclass in rugby culture:
No Shujaa veterans.
No big-budget backers.
Just players with barely a hundred followers on Instagram.
Yet when the spotlight found them, they shone it right back — tearing through KCB, taking their place in the big leagues.
Every sinner has a future. Every saint a past.
Strathmore bet on structure over stardust — and won.
P.S. Watch the movie “Rise of the Campus Squads” featuring Zeetech, Monks, and Blak Blad…
💬 Your Turn
Got thoughts on bad hires, Purity’s story, or the Leos’ big win?
Leave a public comment below so we can keep the conversation going.
Prefer to share privately? Click here to send your comment anonymously — I might feature your insight (with your permission) in a future post.
Final Word
If you keep hiring at 1:43 AM, you’ll keep losing Puritys and missing your Leos moments.
Train your team so you’re building winners — not betting on luck.
👉 Book a strategy session with SRA today
And remember:
Every sinner has a future. Every saint a past.
You just have to give them the right field to play on.
P.S. Purity’s story continues next week: Google Slides and how she met the love of her life.
The mechanic also makes his debut.
Adios, Sayonara, Au Revoir, Majaliwa, till next week…..stay winning!!