When Your Check Engine Light Comes On… and She Already Knows Something Is Off
(Same Forest. Different Monkeys — Men’s Month Edition)
There’s a special kind of panic that hits a man when a lady’s car stalls and she turns to you like you’re the Chief Engineer at Toyota.
It happened to me once.
We were driving, vibing… then the car coughed, shook, and died like it had seen the latest EPRA update.
She looked at me.
I looked at her.
And she said the words that finish many Nairobi men:
“Baba, si you check what’s happening under the hood?”
Under the hood?
Madam (I said to myself), me I only open the bonnet to check if rainwater entered the carburettor.
But masculinity won’t allow us to say “I don’t know.”
So I stepped out confidently like I had a mechanical engineering diploma from Kawaya College, Dagoretti Campus. (by now you know the car qualifies for a slot at Concours)
I opened the bonnet.
Nothing made sense.
Pipes. Wires. Confusion.
So I did what the “Flying Doctors” of Kenyan highways do (btw flying doctors is what we call those mechanics that materialize from forests, drains and sometimes they sell maize as a side hustle). Anyway, back to the routine…
Pull a pipe.
Shake it.
Blow into it.
Say “piga race!”
Then came the sacred roadside sacrament —
I sucked the fuel pipe.
My mouth immediately turned into a gas chamber, like one of those fire-breathing acrobats at Beach hotels.
My plans for a snog died on the spot 😉
You cannot lean in for romance when your breath smells like Jet A-1 mixed with sorrow.
A real Flying Doctor appeared, unplugged two wires, hit the battery with a spanner, and said:
“Sasa piga race!”
Car started.
Pride ended.
Lesson learned.
MEN, YOUR BODY HAS A CHECK ENGINE LIGHT TOO (The over 40s version)
Same way that engine warned us, your body does the same.
But men treat health like we treat old Subarus:
bravado
Google
prayer
pretending
guesswork
If your body had a dashboard, half your lights are already blinking:
BP. Stress. Back pain. Bedroom misfires. Nighttime prostate alarms.
But you’re still piga racing.
This is Men’s Month.
Tuongee nyuma ya tent.
THE 1,500 BOB TEST (AND THE DR DRE PROBLEM)
Men will happily do X-rays, ultrasounds, CT scans, MRIs…
But whisper DRE — Digital Rectal Exam — and the room goes silent.
In sales, they teach us that in order to remember names you need to associate them with things you like.
Now I’m a big fan of Andre Romelle Young aka DR. DRE, but all of a sudden, his name now reminds me of one of the most uncomfortable exams known to man (some even have the gall to call it erotic).
Apparently in the testing field, the DRE is the most effective way of checking for prostate cancer.
Barabas from Kansas Cirry Kangema said it best:
“Down With DRE ain’t never sounded the same again.”
But here’s the thing:
You don’t even need a DRE for the first-level check.
A prostate test costs KSh 1,500.
1,500 bob.
The price of a double Singleton at the local.
Or a kilo of maji maji at Altajiri.
Or the Uber you paid for from Thika Road ;)
Men spend more on fun times than survival.
A healthy man is expensive to replace.
A sick man is expensive to maintain.
Choose wisely
Recruitment Clones & why businesses need a staff balance check.
(Sales Resource Africa Insight)
Let’s move from the body to the office.
Have you noticed that in many small teams (10–30 staff), everyone looks like the boss?
Little clones.
Praise singers.
Mini-me versions.
That’s Clone Bias.
Managers avoid talent they don’t understand.
They protect ego instead of results.
Same thing coaches do:
wanting clones of Drogba, Rashid Yekini, Erin Haaland, Dan Carter, Air Jordan, Peter Dawo (K’ogalo Tibim)
It feels safe.
But safe doesn’t win.
Horses for courses.
Right man or woman for the job.
And the real connection?
The same courage we need in leadership is the courage we need in health.
Stop avoiding the uncomfortable.
Diagnostics save teams.
Diagnostics save lives.
THE RUGBY PARK — the chariot finally carried something home
England destroys New Zealand.
Wales finally won something.
Italy joined the WhatsApp group.
Wallabies took a 40-piece hiding.
Drop goal season returned — four in one series.
Even giants fall.
Even the unbeatable bleed.
Kenya Lionesses — losing finalists.
YOU GO GIRLS!!!
Bibi anaendelea kuficha aibu ya Mzee.
VIVA Lionesses.
We rest for tomorrow we hunt again!!
FORESIGHT FRENZY…..
FACT
Only 30% of men worldwide are circumcised —
but in Kenya we behave like it’s 120%.
WhatsApp groups nearly crashed arguing about 5 grams of skin.
The Laktar said Its cosmectic surgery, in science we consider it unnecessary. At that point the Baite in the group (remember the guy who was dropped at boarding school in a miraa pick-up) he jumps up and says:
“I cannot pay 90k for silence.”
We have to have “Kabaine” we all asked what that was and that’s when he dropped the Youtube video. Lets just say the argument ended there….men truly become men!!
Men fear DRE more than circumcision ceremonies.
Africa is truly a Box office hit.
As we log off…..
If this made you laugh, think, or check your own engine — hit Subscribe.
And if your sales team needs diagnostics before December humbles them,
Sales Resource Africa is one message away
https://salesresourceafrica.co.ke/contact-us/